This whole job search thing is a lot like dating.

First, you get dumped or laid off, sometimes for reasons that have little to do with you. ("It's not you, it's me. I want to date/hire other people. You're great, but....")

You work through a grief process that includes anger and sadness. You wonder, "What could I have done differently? Why didn't this one work out?"

Then there's the whole process of finding the next guy/next job. It starts casually--you announce your new single/unemployed status to friends and mention that you're open to ideas. A few well-meaning friends try to set you up with a variety of men or jobs that are completely at odds with what you're looking for, but you have to give them props for trying. Others "know somebody" and promise to make the connection for you, but few follow through. You can't really blame them--it's not their problem, and they have a spouse and a job.

This crowd has differing theological positions on the whole thing, too, and they strongly encourage you to adopt their way of thinking. Some believe God has picked out the right man/right job and will bring it "in his time." Others believe there can be lots of guys/jobs that could be good for you and it's your responsibility to get out there and find them. You find yourself falling somewhere in the middle and screening your calls.

If nothing comes from this phase, you become more proactive, scouring online personals/classifieds for just the right fit, and optimistically emailing a few guys/employers you never hear back from.

If you do manage to connect with an opportunity that sounds promising, a new kind of insanity takes hold. Why hasn't he called? Did I say the right thing? He could at least email. I should have worn something different. What did that statement mean?

Right now--in both areas of life--I've got one I wish would call and take things to the next step, one which seemed pretty good initially but is probably not right for me, and one that seems perfect, probably because I haven't gotten close enough to see the flaws.

I've never been great at dating, and I'm not real good at finding a new job, either.