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Wednesday, September 05, 2007

My friend Joy, a therapist and ordained minister in the Disciples of Christ churches, loves labyrinths--walking them, recommending them to clients, and even tracing her finger along the grooves in "lap labyrinths."

She recently loaned me the one pictured above (you can buy one at the Grace Cathedral online shop). I tend to move quickly and think quickly; my mind is constantly clicking through to-do lists, reviewing past conversations, planning future ones, analyzing the meaning behind things, and generally driving me crazy. Joy recommended the labyrinth as a way to center my thoughts and be more present in the moment.

As she handed me the beautiful piece of wood, she leaned over and gently moved her finger from the starting point up the path to its first circle around the center. She stopped for a moment, her index finger resting still.

"I tend to spend much of my life in this place," she said. "I can see the center, the goal of who I want to be and how I want to live, but I tire at the thought of doing all this work"--her finger started moving again, tracing the next twists and turns--"to finally get to that promised land. So instead I content myself with living by proxy. I choose to live 'close enough.' With some things that's okay--with others, it's not."

My "center" is a balanced life. I want to be a person of peace and a person who, like Jesus, completes the day's work but never rushes ahead or feels too busy and overwhelmed. The question is whether I'm willing be shaped by the twists and turns of my life journey and do the work to reach the center--or if I'll settle for living by proxy.   

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