survey says.....

If you haven't already, visit the Christian Standard or Christian Church Today site and take the quick survey for church leaders.  We're hoping to get some feedback on how connected people are--and how connected they want to be--with others in the Restoration Movement and what the best forum might be for that information. It would be great to get your thoughts.

Such sweet sorrow

My friend Bob died recently.

He was 85 and knew Jesus, and his sweet wife had already died a few years ago, so I like to imagine the wonderful reunion the three of them are having. But I’ll miss him.

Bob always looked for me at church when I returned home for a weekend and always greeted me with a big hug. Even after he lost 20 or 30 pounds and had to travel with an oxygen tank he made it to church as often as he could.

Occaionally he sent me emails:
"Sorry to have missed you last time--I try to get to church when it won't be too germie." 

"The MRI showed a two-centimeter growth on my right lung. Other than that I'm normal, whatever that is." 

"Currently I can shop without my oxygen but when I take it the ladies give me more attention and I get to ride the electric cart around the store."

The last time I saw Bob, he was on stage at the Christmas pageant, riding a sleigh, wearing a red sweatshirt and a furry Santa hat dipping right and left in time to the music. It had taken all day, and all his strength, to get him dressed and to the church for his minute of fun, but that moment was the definition of “worth it.”

At the intermission I went over for my hug. We talked a few minutes and I promised to look for him on Christmas Eve. “You know, you could email me occasionally,” he said, light-hearted but seriously. I should have emailed him more often. I miss ya, Bob.

Actual recent comment from current student at one of our Bible colleges

When assigned a new book from the syllabus:

"I didn't think women could write academic books."

Although for centuries Christianity inspired much of the Western world's painting and sculpture, we do a pretty poor job of incorporating visual art (other than video) into our worship services.

Like all creative efforts, it adds work to worship planning and implementation. But like all art forms, it can also be used to glorify God and teach more about him.

For instance, one church I attended showed a montage of ancient and modern paintings of the crucifixion during communion time. The juxtaposition of pictures, different in style but united by theme, contributed more to my communion experience than any spoken meditation has.

Plus, many people learn and remember by seeing rather than hearing. Again, we cater to some of this with our short videos, but there's lots of room for improvement.

I realized how much room when a friend asked me to recommend churches consistently using drama, dance and visual art in their worship experiences (and doing it well). I had no problem thinking of several in the first two categories, but I found myself stumped when it came to churches either creating or displaying art in worship. Can you think of any?

I was reading today and came across a line that stopped me:

"Too many of us live on the level of our irritations rather than our enthusiasms."

This especially resonated with me today because if it was drop-able, spill-able, tangle-able or misplace-able it seems I dropped, spilled, tangled or misplaced it. Much of life boils down to moving matter from one place to another, and today none of that matter seemed to go my way.

I spent the morning smelling like a Starbucks from having spilled coffee all over two file folders and part of one coat sleeve, annoyed and generally "chuffy" as my family sometimes says. Then I read this quote.

I decided today could be lived on the level of these irritations or it could be lived on a higher level: of enthusiasm and gratefulness for the very fun book project I'm working on, for a new office painted blue, for three nice emails from friends, for money to self-medicate with lunch at a restaurant, for relatively minor financial damage at the dentist (yes, this stellar day even included a dentist appointment. When it rains.....)

Just a small thought, but one that turned my day around. I hope none of your days include spills, lost papers, tangled power cords, dentist visits or chuffyness.....but on the chance they do, consider living at the level of your enthusiasms.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Enhancing Self-Esteem seems a poor choice of titles.

Glen Elliott, Lead Pastor of Pantano Christian Church, recently shared the following statistics with his church. (The stats come from a recent LifeWay Research Study.)

• America’s unchurched are willing to hear what people have to say about Christianity. But 72% of those interviewed think the church “is full of hypocrites.”
• Yet 71% said they believe Jesus “makes a positive difference in a person’s life” and 78% would “be willing to listen” to someone who wanted to share what they believed about Christianity.
• 64% think “the Christian religion is relevant and viable for today.”
• 72% of unchurched adults believe God, a higher or supreme being actually exists.
• 22% of Americans say they never go to church (This is up from 17% in ‘04 and the highest ever recorded by the General Social Survey).
• 79% of unchurched Americans think Christianity today is more about organized religion than about loving God and loving people.
• 86% believe they can have a good relationship with God without being involved in church.
• Yet, 89% of the unchurched have at least 1 close Christian friend. And while turned off by church, 78% are willing to listen to someone who wants to talk about their Christian beliefs. The number rose to 89% among adults ages 18-29.
• Additionally, 78% said they would enjoy an honest conversation with a friend about religious and spiritual beliefs, even if they disagreed.
• Only 28% think Christians they know talk to them too much about their beliefs.
• But 44% said Christians “get on my nerves.”

It's encouraging to know we still have potential influence as individual Christians, but we have obviously failed to communicate the theology of church. If the vast majority think the church = "organized religion" and believe they can connect to God without it, they're missing the true understanding of God's plan to love and save the world--and we've missed opportunities to show them a community of broken but loving people who make a difference.

Arron also recently wrote about this disconnect. ("We can't like Jesus and hate the church. It's a false dichotomy....That's like saying, 'I like Arron, but hate Rhonda (my wife).' Here's a little advice: Don't say that within swinging distance of my right arm.")

So, interesting news to consider as we begin another weekend in which a record number of people won't go to church. Although it made me smile to read that 44% of the people polled find Christians annoying. Heck, 44% of the Christians I know get on my nerves.

Last week I began writing an article for Christian Standard's "year of the elder" about churches using structured programs, service activities, accountability, Bible study, and other tools to develop discipleship and leadership among their men. One church specifically created its program to build a corps of future elders, while two other churches focus on the more general (but equally important) goal of growing junior high and high school boys into mature Christians.

Last week also included a conversation with a good friend about men our age acting as leaders in dating relationships, marriages and churches. She considered our mutual friends, the guys in her small group, and her past boyfriends.

"There aren't any guys up for that," she concluded. "Maybe you should just settle for someone who's good for you in other ways, because you could be waiting a long time."

My experience differs somewhat; I have dated and been friends with a few guys who were beginning to live this out as young men, and I have watched my dad and other men consistently lead this way. But I agree that most guys, of all ages, seem either unaware of this calling or unprepared to translate it into reality.

For instance, when was the last time your pastor preached on the biblically-ordained roles for men and women? (Did I just see you wince?) Or even mentioned it as part of a larger point? It's a controversial subject these days, reason enough for many churches to shy away. As a result, some guys don't even know there's an issue to discuss.

My interviews with churches highlighted another obstacle--helping men become mature leaders requires personal relationships, mentoring, and time. With few quick fixes or immediate payoffs, it's one of those essential-but-unglamorous tasks. And "spiritual leadership" can also be ambiguous, so a meaningful attempt to teach it requires identification and interpretation of examples throughout Scripture--another time-consuming endeavor.

But when churches don't invest in younger guys, many end up leaving the church after receiving car keys or a high school diploma. When they don't invest in older guys (some of whom got the diploma and a wife, had a kid, and decided church wasn't so silly after all) the whole church suffers, including that pastor who eventually finds himself working with an immature or unqualified team of elders.

I'm glad a few congregations are initiating the tough discussions, communicating the expectations, and putting in the time to help guys grow into mature men of God. These churches aren't willing to settle, and neither am I.

Yesterday morning at church, the father sitting in front of me handed his three year old son a dollar bill to give during offering time. The boy happily placed the money in the basket as it passed by, then resumed working on the important task of covering his entire bulletin with green crayon scribbles.

While it was a nice moment, I distinctly remember thinking, "Sure, it's easy to give someone else's money." But the truth is, I find it quite difficult to part with cash from Someone Else. 

This child doesn't own anything; he looks to his father for everything and dad always comes through. So if dad shares even more, and directs where it should go, the boy has every reason to follow directions. With no expectations and with complete trust, he can give joyfully.

Although I also own nothing and receive everything from my Father, I feel possessive of the sums He hands me to put in the plate. I, too, have every reason to follow directions, but my sense of entitlement often steals the joy of obeying.

Some squirmy preschoolers can be a distraction during worship services, but I'm grateful for this little person and his quiet example yesterday. I want to give like him--cheerfully, without complaint and eager to get back to my crayons.